ugh . dont you just hate it, when your parents give you the career talk. because that always leads to talks about, everything else. life talk.
ok i was sitting in car alone with dad, and i cnt rmb much because i tried to tune out for most of the talk (finger in my ear, humming) but .
:O ! he just did it again. " what are you doing? " and five mins ago he came in saying, " if you've got nothing to do, do something productive " -- like whaaaaat .
and i was watching masterchef, and he's like , "turn it off at 8". and then i say "why", and he says, "because i said so" . then i say " but thats not fair" and he says " dont argue, just do as i tell you" . so then i shoutwhisper . which ive been doing HEAPS lately ;
mum says: i hope youre giving it your best for your music exam. you know we have to pay so much .
dad: yes, money is very hard to get you know?
me: yes father i knowww
dad: money isnt easy to get you know?
me: yes .
dad: people are getting retrenched and stuff, so moneys hard to get, you know?
me: i knowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
mum: i dont want to keep telling to you to practise, you know to do it yourself right?
me: right .
mum: i dont want to have to keep reminding you to practise every day.
me: then dont
mum: but then you wont practise
me: i already practised today and i so was going to, so stop telling me
mum: but i have to
[ i go to pantry and shoutwhisper shutupshutupshutup ]
because . you know how youre going to do something like . homework or chores. and you were so planning on doing it, just not yet and you dont really mind coz you'll do it in your own time. then mum or dad comes along and says DO IT NOW ! HOW COME YOU HAVNT DONE IT! STOP SLEEPING AND DO IT NOW ! HAVE YOU DONE IT YET ! I WANT YOU TO DO IT BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE ! . then you feel . soooooo unmotivated to do it, and you cant do it with any enthusiasm and whatever it is just feels like a chore to get through. they always ruin the mood. argargargh .
this is what happens everyday. oh ! but today
was scary, i was so scared because i was looking for something to make for lunch
spent forever in pantry and fridge. and i finally decided id make some sorta pasta thing.
so i chucked tomatoes, onion, bacon pieces, herbs etc together. and pesto sauce coz it was in fridge and looked like it would go .
and see, mum was out shopping. and so i was just cooking for myself and little sister.
and it tasted quite okay.
then .
little sis: "my throats itchy"
me: hmm okay.
me: wait .. (checks pesto sauce) . pinenuts .. are they nuts? (keeps reading) cashews ! OMGSH ! (goes into shock)
me: NOOOO . deeeeeeeeeearne! are you okay, what do i do. can you breathe?
dea: my throats itchy ..
me: uuuuuughhh . (calls mum , but she doesnt pick up ]: )
so i make her take zyrtec and watch her for 20 mins until mum comes home.
okay might not sound that scary. but . i thought i was killing her or something ! coz i fed her what she's allergic to . but i think the scariest thing was getting in trouble by mum. funny huh . im so scared of my mums reactions and words , probly coz i always make mistakes and get introuble . like the way i slam doors, open fridge 'too roughly', close the drawer too hard, cook food im supposed to save or pack too much food to school. all these stupid little things ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
this is my day . must be boring for you to read hah, . what else happened hm..
had realy nice omelette thing this morning, and my little sister got to eat TWO bananas. in one day. totally unfair. so now there's NO bananas left
i ate two apples . btu thats coz we have tonnes, and dad bought the yucky types coz he doesnt know how to buy nice apples.
>other stuff that happend today;
-the tomato i cut today had black hole in it
-saw a furry caterpillar
-unlocked special cup for 150cc. which was very. GRR'ing. coz for some reason it's really hard to play lately. and there's so much pressure i kept sweating, to come 1st 2nd or 3rd. coz takes soo much time, and . yes. lots of pressure
-my teacher conned me into having clarinet lessons AFTEr exams for " fun stuff "
-i sort of did my srp
-ate lotsa nutrigrain. like lots . constantly snacking on it
-hung up my sleeping bag, which was raelly hard, coz its really big when you open it, and have to chuck it on top of the washing line, then spread it all out, then peg it all down; that was v. tiring . and then it fell off so i had to do it again
-peed a lot. dont know why . some days i pee heaps, others i dont. =/ speaking of pee .. brb
-just realised im missing biggest loser finale. not like dad woould let me watch anyway
- SCHOOL tmrw. and mums birthday which i forgot and forget. school means .. pack pe stuff.. i wonder if its @ skul. hm
maybe ill take this opportunity as skul starts to turn over, yet another, leaf.
be smarter, concentrate more, eat healthier, dont overthink/obsess about food, be nicer, dont be too nice, be stronger mentally/physically/spiritually! and. culturaly . =/ . no .
things left to do today:
- 10 pages of english
- read harry potter
- get lotsa sleep
- pack for skul
woops i never finished the career talk thing. but , enough rambling . coz it'll just lead to more and more. like how everything else leads to sometihng else. and then soething else. and
goodnight .
heh . merlin.
